When the mind does not settle in prayer — wandering this way and that, this way and that, never sticking — it means the person does not even know what he wants. He has no demand at all, no demand within his soul directed toward God, and so love cannot arise; otherwise, love comes only from this. Having darshan of God gives rise to love. Maharaj said that when a person has darshan, the darshan itself stays in memory, and beyond that, on top of it, love arises as well. How much love arises depends on the intensity of one's longing, and that intensity depends on how much demand is present. If demand awakens, that much intensity follows. Whoever's demand is greater than everyone else's will have intensity greater than everyone else's; whoever's demand is weak and faltering will have a weak and faltering intensity. We should examine for ourselves whether our own demand is greater or less than others'. However much demand there is, that much intensity follows; however much intensity there is, that much affection (preeti) follows; and however much affection there is, that much remembrance (smruti) follows. So what we must do is increase the demand in our own mind — demand for what? Demand for God's darshan should increase, demand for katha (spiritual discourse) should increase, demand for love should increase, demand for seva (service) should increase. If the demand for seva increases, a person can come to have love for God like the gopis had — and if one's intensity is even greater than the gopis', then one's love will be greater than the gopis' love too.
Sachchidanand Swami had exactly this. His intensity was equal to theirs, or even greater. It is said that blood would come from every pore of his body — if he resolved for it to come, it would come. If he thought, "Today I did not receive darshan, so let blood come from every pore of my body," and made that resolve, it would happen. And if he resolved, "If I forget my Maharaj while walking, I should fall down," then he would fall. That is what true demand looks like, and if such demand truly arose in someone, they would fall, and blood would truly come. Where has that kind of true demand ever awakened in us? Have we ever even planned to build up such demand — ever decided, "I have a demand for this"? We have no demand, and because we have no demand, there is no remembrance either. Otherwise, Maharaj said that among the gopis, once one particular gopi was touched by God, she could never forget that touch — even though other gopis were touched by Him more — why is that touch never forgotten? Even worldly pleasure is not held onto to that degree; and elsewhere, that same kind of intensity has instead turned into something like enmity. This kind of longing is, for some, present from the very beginning (anadi) — it is not that others have it and we cannot; what we need to examine is whether we ourselves have the true intention (daanat) to cultivate it. And Maharaj gave a remedy for this that is shown nowhere else — not in any scripture, not in the Bhagavatam, not in the Gita, not in the Upanishads. Maharaj alone gave this remedy, and how solid it is.
How does this demand actually arise? Think of it this way — take the demand for money. Why does a person want money? Because money seems important for enjoying comfort — for the sake of the future, for future convenience — a person has firmly fixed it in his mind that only if he has money will his future be good. In the same way, for our future in God's path, we should think: "At the final moment I must remember God" — if that demand awakens in us, it can be obtained even right now. But notice how, in order to accumulate money, a person builds in his own mind the sense that he will need this thing in the future — once he sets that up in his mind, the demand takes hold. Yet when it comes to darshan, we never think we will need it in the future; when it comes to katha, we never think we will need it in the future. Does doing worship (puja) properly right now have any real future need? Does doing seva properly right now have any future need? Has anyone ever thought, "Yes, I am doing seva right now — what future need do I have for it?" In truth, there is great need for it in the future. "Right now I take joy in this" — has anyone ever thought about what future use that joy will be? No one has ever thought about this, and that is exactly why it does not get done properly, with full attention, right now. If a person truly understood its importance for the future, he would not let even a little of it go to waste — he would seize it completely.
A householder worries about both the future and the present. In the present, everyone already has enough to eat. But a greedy person worries about the future — "In the future I must have this much wealth" — and even wears himself out striving for it. So have we ever made a resolve like that for ourselves — "In the future I must have this much darshan, this much katha, this much puja, this much seva; that is what I want my future to hold, right up until this body ends and I reach the Divine Abode (Dham)"? Have we ever set such a goal, formed such a vision? We have done nothing of the kind. So naturally, nothing comes of it — it is only natural, because we are sitting at zero for the future, so zero is what remains. We never even hear of anyone doing this. Someone with no concern for the future ends up with nothing left over, the way spending everything on a Diwali kite leaves nothing in hand — their balance stays at zero. That is what we are like: spending everything right now with nothing set aside, telling ourselves there is no real need to think ahead — "I'll just do darshan now, that's fine, I'll do it according to the routine, do the evening prayer (sandhya) as prescribed, do it as a matter of habit" — that is how we get by. We have no plan for the future, and even where we have one, it is not a great one.
But it was not like this for everyone. The gopis, once they had darshan, would go on hearing of God — why can we not hear of Him the same way? Maharaj comes running to receive people like that — why does He not come running for us? Does Maharaj favor someone over another? When Maharaj goes to receive someone else, He tells others, "We will come and give darshan" — why does He not come to us that way beforehand? This is because a kind of resentment builds up in us — the same way a householder feels a knot of envy on seeing someone else has a Mercedes and thinks, "Why don't I have one?" or someone has a fine house and he thinks, "Why don't I?" If he lacks the means, that envy eats at him and he feels incomplete. When have we ever felt that same sense of incompleteness about our own spiritual attainment — the way Gopalanand Swami felt it, the way Gunatitanand Swami felt it, the way Balmukund Swami felt it, the way Narayandas Swami felt it, and attained what they attained? Has that same hunger ever come to us? If the hunger comes, then it happens. Maharaj said this is not something innate that some are simply born with and others are not — it is not that it happened for them and cannot happen for us. This pursuit is in our own hands: how much intensity to build, and how much not to — that is up to us. Even if it does not happen in a single day, it will happen eventually. Maharaj said that as one's intensity is, so it happens, and intensity happens according to demand — but we simply have no demand, and demand has to be created. Demand cannot be handed to us by someone else, saying, "Here, take this demand" — we cannot receive and hold it that way. We have no demand at all within our soul (jiva), and when demand arises within the soul, intensity follows. [The transcript here contains an internal contradiction about an ant's demand to flee that could not be confidently resolved — see flags.] We are not even like the ant in this regard — meaning we have not even fixed within our soul the kind of demand an ant has. Demand happens exactly to the degree one fixes it: "I have this much demand," and that is exactly what results. If someone says, "I want to become like Bill Gates," that will not happen, because prarabdha (one's destined share, from past karma) stands in the way there. Everyone has a demand for money, but what one actually receives is governed by one's prarabdha, and that share is what is given to each person. But on God's path, it is not like that — however much demand a person creates, that much is received. There, prarabdha does not stand in the way; it is not that one only receives as much as is fixed by prarabdha while another receives more. On God's path it is not like that: whatever demand you hold, that much you get, that much intensity comes to you, and once intensity comes, everything else follows. Read it again. [Music]